I guess the bottom line is that a man is either dominant or he's not; and pretending just doesn't cut it. First he has to be a whole, mature, responsible, honest, human being. Then he also has to be in touch with his own masculine strength and power, and enjoy being a strong man, and be comfortable in using that power when appropriate. Then he has to have some understanding of women, both as human beings very much like him, and also as feminine beings who are profoundly unlike him. He needs to be able to respect women, including the deep feminine desire to surrender to a dominant man. Any man who thinks that a woman's submission to a man somehow makes her ‘less’ than him is utterly clueless about women, if you ask me. When he can respect her for her feminine surrender just as much as he respects himself for his masculine dominance, then the magic of romance can be kindled.